I'm not having the best day.
Ever have one of those days where you don't feel like yourself. Where little things set you off? Where you don't really feel motivated one way or the other or are just overall blah? Where you're so up in your feelings that you can feel them almost choking you? That's how I'm feeling today.
I tried my usual pick-me-up things. I treated myself to a bagel at work (my relationship with food is a whole different thing) but it didn't hit the spot. I called one of my best friends, but found myself getting choked up when trying to find the words to describe how I was doing. Thinking it was from being tired, I gave myself permission to not go to boot camp as I had intended to, but I think 7:30pm is too early to go to bed. Even the thought of writing tonight wasn't helping my mood. So I reached out to my accountability buddy to let her know.
I'm a tough love kind of girl. It's what I dish out. It's what I (sometimes) respond well to. I get it. And that's what I was expecting back. Instead, I received time and space. And the idea that it's okay to not do everything that you set out to do, especially when you do challenge type of goal where you want to accomplish/do X in Y days. But instead of using that permission as a cop out, use it to probe. Have a series of conversations with yourself about why you're no longer motivated or interested in your goal. Is it because you already got what you wanted out of it? Are you just not feeling it? What's your biggest obstacle? What will you achieve by not doing it? What happens if you spend 5 minutes on it?
I'll tell you what happens when you spend 5 minutes on it: you end up doing it. Or at least part of it. Getting started is the hardest part of any goal, at any phase. But sometimes if you spend just 5 minutes on it, you might just reach your goal. And even if you don't, you're five minutes further into it than you would be by doing nothing.
Five minutes later, I've written this blog post. I've found a way to brighten up my day, even a smidge. And I'm five minutes closer to letting the feeling whatever this is and letting it pass.
This is my truth. I'm living and dealing with it today. Tomorrow, I try again.