All in Rambling

I woke up today with a strange desire to bake. This is strange for many reasons: I don't know how to bake, I'm trying to eat healthy, and who has time to bake today? And then I looked at the calendar at it made sense. My dear friend Ashley, and one of the most incredible bakers I've ever know, passed away 5 years ago today. 

Some days, I come home from work and wonder why I even bothered to show up? I could swear that no one noticed my presence, nor would they notice my absence. Or maybe it's a day where no matter what I do, I keep hitting dead ends or getting blank stares or seem to get criticized for whatever I do, or don't do. It's when decisions make no sense or your frustrations seem to fall on deaf ears or no matter how much you try to be transparent and fair, it backfires in your face. It's days like those that make me wonder why I do what I do. It's days like those that I go home and I re-evaluate what I'm doing and what I set out to do. 

I have four days left in my NoBloPoMo challenge and I'm really proud of how far I've come. It hasn't always been easy, but I've managed to write every day (I consider a day before I go to bed, not necessarily midnight). While my posts have been random, they've been getting done and I'm proud that I've managed to stay on task and focussed so far. And I've been getting it done, even with being out of town and what not. 

Happy Thanksgiving

While I'm not your typical holiday-loving person where I count down the days until a holiday or transform my home into a holiday haven, I do enjoy the holidays. I never really make plans nor do I have any traditions that I really follow, yet. (I can't wait to create my own one day when my feet are a little more planted.) To be honest, it's usually a last minute game-time decision on where to go, what to do, and who to spend it with.

Thanksgiving in the US is usually the reminder that the holidays are here and the end of the year is just around the corner. It's this time of year that you usually wonder where the time went and also simultaneously wonder how you're going to get everything done by the end of the year. Before the panic begins, take a moment to pause and reflect on the things that you're grateful for. After all, when the turkey is done, and the family is back to their respective homes, all you have left is yourself and the thoughts that go through your head. Pay homage to them. 

For most people, the holiday season is a time to get together with your loved ones, eat great food, and be merry as you create new memories for the future. You may see the family who you haven't seen since last year, and can't wait to smoosh them up in a huge hug, but you might also see that one relative that you dread seeing because they always give you a hard time about your life choices or maybe they have opinions that fundamentally go against what you believe in. Whatever the case may be, it's a once-in-awhile type of get together so you bite your tongue, turn a blind eye, and keep the peace.

Maybe it's time to ruin Thanksgiving.

Your Board of Directors

On a job interview for an internship 10 years ago, I got some of the best advice of my life.

The interviewer, the head of one of the HR departments, had received my resume in advance along with a list of questions to ask me. Before we could even start with the questions, she said, "Before we get started, I have to ask: Bollywood dance team?! Wedding planner?! How cool! Tell me about those things." And I did.

If You're Reading This, I'm Still Here

This week was tough. Mentally, emotionally and physically. There were moments where I flung up my arms because I just didn't care any more. There were moments where inside I wanted to cry but I kept it together and kept it moving. There were moments where I had to drag my limbs to take that next step and to keep it going. This week was tough. But I made it. I'm here. If you're reading this, I'm still here. Hopefully still kicking butt and taking names, but if not, you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm giving it my all and I'll eventually get there.

Taking Time for Myself 

I woke up today not knowing what day it was. It's Tuesday. The last scheduled day I worked was Friday. So what happened between then and now? Your guess is as good as mine--time has flown! First off, there have been more volunteers arriving, which means more people to hang out with, which means less time for writing and sleeping, but I'm trying to figure it out. No complaints--there are some really cool and interesting people here who I genuinely have enjoyed getting to know. After a long day of doing various things, grabbing a bite or a drink together is a great way to unwind, decompress, share experiences and get to know each other.

Where Did You Go, 2015?

Yesterday, when I started writing this post, it was the last day of 2015. Where did this year go? So much has happened, and so much hasn't either. I've been getting all of the "end of the year" type of posts from different places; online retailers I frequent, social networks I'm part of, updates from friends and family... The end of the year is a common time for people to pause, reflect and share the lessons they've learned. To be honest, I don't even know where to start. The past few months have been a blur and I barely think I've had time to breathe or sleep, let alone process what's going on. But that's my life and I've chosen to be that way. No complaints, just sharing observations.